Brazen

My husband, God bless him, has a serious problem. It keeps me up at night and causes great stress in our marriage. Maybe your husband or wife or someone you love shares this problem. If so, there are things you can do to cope with the emotional upheaval it causes in your relationship.

…sigh…

My husband snores like a freight train. I sometimes fantasize about smothering him with a pillow in his sleep just to shut him up. One time, before we were married, he had fallen asleep at my mom & dad’s place on the basement couch. My mom told me SHE was thinking about smothering him with a pillow. And we weren’t even trying to sleep or anything. It was the middle of the day. His snoring is really that bad.

So when his snoring causes HIM some discomfort, I can’t say that I’m too upset about it. Like last night. When I went downstairs while he was snoring away so that I could get some sleep on our couch and avoid homicide charges. No. Really.

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A much happier moment in time. Though I probably wanted to hurt him when we went to sleep that night, too.

Apparently after I left, he woke up and heard me walking around downstairs. But he didn’t know it was me. He didn’t roll over to see if I was still in bed or not. Nope. He got out of bed and peered downstairs. This was his train of thought as it was relayed to me.

“There’s someone downstairs. Holy crap. Someone is in our house.”
He gets out of bed.
“The lights are on downstairs. Brazen mother-****ers.”

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I imagined this expression on his face when he was ready to run down the stairs and get the bad guys. GRRRRR…

He turns around to grab something (?) to beat up the intruders with. I don’t know what. Our flashlight? Hair dryer? And he sees that I’m not in bed. Thus realizing that his snoring caused me to go downstairs which caused him to wake up which caused him to panic. So really. It’s his own fault.

As I laughed in his face and told him I was going to go blog this, he told me, “I’m glad you find this funny. I was having palpitations.”

So you see friends, if someone you love has a snoring problem there are things you can do. Like laugh at them and blog about it when their snoring comes back to bite them in their own behinds.

ps…he says I snore too sometimes. I don’t believe him. And even if it is true, it’s never been bad enough to make anybody want to smother me with a pillow.

pps…he would have gladly moved to the couch if I’d woken him to ask him. I was just trying to be nice.

copyright (c) 2013 Jenna Pelias // all rights reserved

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3 thoughts on “Brazen

  1. Jennifer is correct. Snoring is often a sign of sleep apnea, which is a serious medical condition. Snorers usually stop breathing many times per night. Your hubby needs to have an overnight sleep study done so that he can be fitted with a CPAP machine. (I’ve worn one for years.) This may prevent serious heart problems and may avoid having him not wake up one morning. Thanks,

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