The Jesus Story

Once upon a time, I used to write 2 blogs. This one – the one about life as a mom and a wife and about my kids and their antics. This is the one I would share on my facebook page and tell people to read. The other one, though public and accessible, was the one I kept to myself and to the people who happened to notice that it happened to exist. Every now and then I’d share something I wrote there, but nobody ever read it and I didn’t mind that one bit.

The blog was called The Jesus Story. It was the story of Jesus in my life. It started out as a series of notes on Facebook about how I became a Christian and then turned into a blog with my stories and my own probably blasphemous interpretations of Holy Scripture, may God have mercy on my soul. Not a real fan favorite. But it was my favorite. In the fall of 2013 I was starting to wonder why I was keeping 2 blogs. So I made The Jesus Story private. And then all of the sudden people started reading an old post about Halloween over here, and I was really very glad that I’d shut the other one down. Because 400,000 people reading a silly rant about Halloween was one thing. 400,000 people reading about my thoughts on Jesus and what God has done in my life and my messy marriage and all of that blasphemy – well that’s another thing entirely. And there were plenty of people who followed the links to my then shut down Jesus Story blog, only to message me asking if they could please have access to it.

Access? Denied.

Now that some time has passed, and the trolls have found new bridges under which to dwell online, I have to make good on my little promise to start spilling my guts. I feel like I shouldn’t really have to say this, being the author of a blog called The Jesus Story, but I need to warn you.

I love Jesus. Desperately. Without apology. I believe that God exists somehow, in a mystery I’ll never understand, as Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. And is yet still one God. Don’t ever ask me to explain that. I don’t know, alright?

The Bible is not a joke to me. I believe in the inerrancy of the Bible. I think the error comes in the interpretation of it. What I mean by that might surprise you, but as if we have time for that right now. Later maybe. Over tea, preferably.

I just thought you should know that about me.

Before I tell you how I came to believe and why. And how I’m trying and failing, and trying again, and failing again, at this being a believer thing. My story may be a poor witness, but it’s a witness to His mercy anyway.

Before I tell you about my rocky relationship with church. Which is God’s family. Which I am a part of. Which I suck so bad at. Sigh.

Before we talk about my husband the musician & pastor who is not a pastor anymore, because you can’t have a porn habit and be doing inappropriate things with women online (married or not) – if you also want to be a pastor. Well. You can. Until you get caught or confess. He confessed. (He knows I’m writing this. This is not a secret. We are not ashamed of our story. He’s going to be telling it with me.)

Yeah. Before all that you need to know that it starts and ends with Jesus for me. I don’t believe my story is about me. My story is the Jesus Story, in my life. It’s not about me getting it right for Him. It’s about Him making it right for me.

The Jesus Story is like the tv show Jeopardy! in that you begin with the answer and then start asking questions. Backwards? Yes. Maddening? Yes. Illogical? Yes. And yet. It’s perfect. It’s only way to tell it. The End is the beginning.

The End.

Glenn & Me, on our 9th anniversary this past August.

Glenn & Me, on our 9th anniversary this past August.

Let’s get started then.

***

copyright (c) 2014 Jenna Pelias // all rights reserved

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13 thoughts on “The Jesus Story

  1. I saw your Halloween blog posted on facebook this year and enjoyed it thoroughly and have since been reading your blog. Even today – while reading your thoughts and honesty, (which sometimes makes me squirm a bit, because you’re so honest and I’m not that brave), I thought – boy I wish I knew this girl – I’d love to sit and talk about her thoughts on the church and how we obey that command to not forsake assembling together. In recent years, I’ve become more reclusive and enjoy it better than being with people. Anyway… a lot of words to say I enjoy your writing and your take on life. And your unapologetic, fierce love of Jesus.

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    • Oh boy do I have thoughts on church! I too have become quite reclusive, for various reasons. It’s an ongoing inner war I wage with myself. I’m sure we’d have quite a lively conversation on this topic. I do plan to write on the topic eventually. Or soon. Or something 😉 Thanks for taking time to ‘stop by’ and leave some kinds words 🙂

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  2. I think you are amazing, in all your brutal honesty and transparency. I love that we can be amazing even when we are also learning to get through life and making choices and being far from perfect – grace rocks. I was brought in by your Halloween post, but I really loved your marriage apologetic. It was so helpful at the time, I’m looking forward to what is to come. Bless you.

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  3. i too, consider myself one of the lucky ones to find you over halloween of all things, and i eagerly await the next chapter you shall share with us. it is like some virtual book club, except i haven’t read the book yet. i just go each week and get a chapter. of course, we all have chapters in the book that Jesus is writing, but when you share yours, it helps me understand mine better. so thank you for your transparency to voice what many cannot.

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  4. I’m always surprised when people seem to believe that a pastor should somehow be “holier” or “better” than the body of believers. Pastors/elders/deacons should strive to be like Christ. . . But so should the rest of us. Every believer is called to be a witness, an evangelist, a window to Christ. Whether you are an “official” of a church or the person in the back row, closest to the door — we are all supposed to be like Christ. And sin is sin. Some may have more immediate or dramatic consequences, but all sin stains our souls and pains our Creator.

    I look forward to reading your story!

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  5. I’m looking forward to reading more! Your Halloween post was inspiring. My girlfriend and I devoted half of a road trip to the topic based on your post! In my experience of blogging about my life in Christ, readers are more inspired by the failures! The reality that Jesus is so much more than I deserve. And though His love is everlasting and all-encompassing, I am committed to forever serving Him. Not because He needs me to. But because I want to. And in that whole journey, we will all fail. God created us to live out this walk of faith in community with believers… and this blogworld helps us connect to even more of those. It’s iron sharpening iron… via the world wide web. 🙂

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  6. Amen. It must be the time for this type of blog. I’m launching a contributor blog in March that addresses just the scripture and I know of another blog that is headed the same way. It’s just time. It’s just time for Christians to get down to the Bible, what it says and the reality of Jesus in our lives. Good for you! And Amen for control over commenting- yes? *wink*

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  7. And this is exactly why I started following you & your friend Juanita, dear Jenna! Real, blunt, bold, brutally honest AND open to the leading and teaching of Jesus along this rocky life we walk. Press on Sister!

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  8. Leaving or entering Pastoral Ministry is a personal thing between the Lord and the one He calls. I know that Kirk Franklin made a similar confession a couple of years ago, and only went on a hiatus from his ministry. I know that for every sinner, it takes a terrifying measure of courage to confess the sin – even when confronted with evidence. I am so thankful and proud of your husband’s willingness to be humble and to allow other brothers and sisters to join him in his journey toward a healthier way of living. This can’t be easy, but it will be worth it. I’ll be praying, along with many others, I’m sure.

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  9. I look forward to reading it. I somehow came across your Halloween post which I loved so I’ve been following along. I, too, have a “private” blog (I hardly ever have the courage to write in, much less open up for attack) about how I’ve dealt with my gay son coming out almost five years ago. Which, having grown up his entire life in church, as the best friend of the pastor’s son….in a small town…. well you probably know where this is going. From the words you shared so far, I have a feeling we could be kindred spirits. Anyway, thanks for opening it up 🙂

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